STAR WRECK
A PARODY of STAR TREK© (2009 Movie by Paramount Studios)
PART TWO
PROLOGUE: After visiting the home site of the film, I have discovered that 'they’ are calling this storyline an 'Alternate Universe’ instead of 'a totally screwed up mess’… Go see the movie. Sneak in if you have to… Then, count the number of deviations from the historical timeline… The best one has to be the main ingredient of this farce -- the movie, not this parody… well, maybe the parody, too… I really love the 'Instant Black Hole’ stuff called 'Red Matter’. Just add one drop to ANYTHING and goodbye problem… I am not saying that Black Holes do not create incredible travel possibilities within a universe or between universes, and even time travel, but to have something that can create a black hole by detonating a piece of matter that looks like a glob of goo from a lava lamp is a bit much… Just about like trying to read that last sentence… whoooooo!
Anyhoo, I will not say that when the DVD comes out that I will not buy it… After all, it is STAR TREK©, even if it is a different one from the one I have filling more than ONE BOOKSHELF! If this is what is to come, then I wonder who will play Picard, Riker, Troy, Data and Geordi? Oh, well, one disaster at a time… Wait, one more before we release the Heathrow squad to wreck havoc on the cosmos… Right at the end, they had a chance to redeem themselves… All they had to do was… uh… I’d be giving away the ending if you haven’t seen the movie yet… So, I’ll let you run into it as you get into PART TWO of this turkey. Go on… Get your popcorn, juju beans, M&Ms, and anything else you like throwing at the screen. Remember to spill part of your soft drink on the floor as a tribute to the Motion Picture Deities. That gesture doubles to ward off the ghosts of bad movies by making them stick to the floor. The preview that would be shown on the screen before the movie starts would be, of course, Hairy Putter and the Half-Drunk Putz. Our apologies to them in advance…
And now, the Heathrow Chapter of the Jellicle Screen Actors Guild and Hazmat Team present the second part of STAR WRECK…
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS (We apologize about the lack of anonymity)
THE MAINS
James T. ('Try-Me’) Kook
Speck (the young one)
Lionnerd McClown
Mouthgummy “Snotty” Snott
Noquota Yoohoorah
Haiku Saloon
Pawvel Chuckup
THE OTHERS
Lt. George Kook
Winnie Kook
Young James Kook
Sorehead, Speck’s Father
Topper (via Séance)
Captain Crispypurr Puke
Captain Zero
|
THE MAIMED:
Silvermane
Sebastian
Sacramentor
Archangel
Nicole
Taj
Presley
THE BOTHERS
Robin
Gintora
Onyx
Quaxo
Topper (via Séance)
Victor
Khan
|
|---|
EXTRAS: Any Jellicle we could find…
THE GREEN ROOM
The cast and crew of the movie awakened in the Green Room with the remnants of the cast party still strewn about. Nicole awakened first and discovered, somehow, that her bustier is being worn by Archie… as a hat… (Author’s Note: See ARCHANGEL’S NEW HAT in Heathrow Heap -- Year Two Supplemental)
“I hate to think where my garter belt went,” she said, holding her forehead.
“Presley’s wearing it,” Silvermane said, relatively sober.
“He is?”
“He doesn’t look as good as you do in it, but he’s not that bad, if I went that way…”
“Silv? I really didn’t need that image this early, and with a hangover.”
“Tell me, Nicci… Why are you in a delicate position with Seb and Domino?”
“I am?” She looked at her relative position, and found herself straddling the large harlequin Tom and her pillow had been Domino’s back. “We, ah, must’ve been discussing the nookie scenes in the script and got carried away…”
“I’ll say… Sometimes, he gets all the fun… Anyway, start waking people up 'cause we need to finish this puppy before it grows into a Saint Bernard.”
After several buckets of water failed, Silvermane used a trick he learned from Nightchaser, and used a light beam going through a water elemental. The result was a stream of water that had the ambient temperature of 40°F (4°C). Needless to say, the cast and crew was awake and barely aware of their surroundings…
Victor sat up and grabbed his head. “Oh, Rumpus! I thought once you died, you don’t hurt anymore!”
“Depends on whether you went up toward the Penthouse or down to the furnaces in the Basement, Vic,” Silvermane repaired.
Presley came awake at that time. “Charry’s Rump… us… Hey! Why am I wearing Nicci’s garter belt and hose?”
“Most of us would like to know that,” Mentor groaned.
“Hey, do I look hot?”
“Bog-Brush? I do not need any stimuli to vomit…”
“Help me,” came a muffled Russian accent. “I see cannot!!!”
“Talk about the need to regurgitate…” Presley said. The bustier had slipped so that the twin cups of the garment now covered Archangel’s eyes. Presley went over and took the bustier off. “Doofus, gimme that!”
“Ah! Is miracle! I see can!”
“Hey, Ginnie? Whack him for me.”
“Sure, Pres, no probs… (*thwack*) Arch, hun? Can you tell me what you were doing in Nicci’s bustier?”
“I don’t know… I thought it a party hat was…”
“Let’s not go into that again,” Mentor groaned. “Lady Domino?”
Pulling her back from a full snog with Sebastian, the petite harlequin Queen looked blearily at him. “Y-y-yeah?”
After fanning the air, Mentor managed to lower the air level of combustibles to a safe level. “We need to get ready for the shoot.”
“Good, gimme the gun first…”
“The Parody FILM, Lady Domino.”
“Oh… that turkey… Tell me something…”
“Yes?”
“Did I have as good a time as it looks and feels like should have?”
“I am slightly positive that everyone did… Candy and Melody managed to get through the Party somewhat intact and they are passing out today’s scripts.”
“Wonderful… As Doctor McClown, what would prescribe for a double-decker bus-sized migraine and hangover?”
“Here’s yours…” Silvermane said, passing her a small thermos bottle. “Be careful with it, though. I spilled a little on top of the bus, and we now have a new sunroof…”
“What is it?”
“The bottles all came from some guy named Genesis Darkhorse. He says if this didn’t cure the hangover, you were too far gone to give a darn…”
“Good…” she replied and read the label on the bottle. “Drink one cup of the mixture like a tequila shooter. That I can do… HOLEY MOLEY!!!!
“Hmmm,” Silvermane said as he looked at the bottle. “Another joke taken from HP…”
“Does it say anything on there when you can breathe again?” Mentor asked as he watched Domino go from blue to red in body blush.
“Usually takes about 5 seconds…”
The air around Domino turned blue for about five heartbeats afterwards. Fawn, Jizzabub and Taj gave her usage of invectives and expletives a 10, a 9.5 and a 10.
“If you could earn an 11,” Fawn said afterward, “ I would have awarded it for that last scatological phrase involving the use of…”
“Uh, PG13 here, Fawny-lady,” Presley said. “Hey, whatta think? Does this garter belt make my butt look fat?”
“No, but try your head and you got it…”
“Everyone!” Domino managed to squeak out like she had just snorted an entire Helium bottle. “Get your Flippin’ Backsides on the Fraggin’ Sound Stage before I get the Bleepin’ Airhorn, shove it up where the sun don’t shine and pull the Blappin’ trigger!”
Jizzabub pulled her sign down, and then hung up a 10…
As the cast and crew filed into the set, Silvermane chuckled.
“That’s my girl…!”
STAR WRECK
A Parody of “Star Trek” by Paramount Studios ©2009
PART TWO
Scene: The Jellicle’s Transputter Room
Topper, Sebastian, Silvermane and Mentor come out the door and begin their travel around the circular set piece that subs as the anonymous ship’s corridor.
“Now tell me this again so that I get it,” Topper said. “My NAME is Sorehead. I don’t got one.”
“That is correct,” Mentor said.
“I’m supposed to be Seb’s Father, right?”
“Unfortunately,” Sebastian replied.
“And my Mate got sucked up in that black thingie…”
“Yep,” Silvermane said. “Sorry about that.”
“My head hurts…”
“That’s why your role is very brief,” Sebastian said.
“It is?”
“Yep. In fact, it ends right here for the time being…”
“Oh… Goodie… Did you know that I can snog Fawn again?”
“Usually works as long as you’re in the parody, or in one of RIO’s Greenrooms.”
“Cool…”
Topper went through a double set of doors -- something that the backstage crew groused at since they now had a large hole to repair… Meanwhile, Seb, Mentor and Silvermane went onto the Bridge Set where Seb once more looked at the command chair. He stood next to it instead of sitting in it.
“Situation?” Seb asked.
“We’re still stuck in this fraggin’ parody,” Presley mumbled. After receiving a brain duster, Presley appeared to study the DVD player in front of him. “The hostile schlep is on a course toward Earth.”
“Good. Let them handle this. Set a course to the fleet at Worf 42…”
Presley looked over at Taj. “Have you noticed the Author’s obsessive predilection with the number 42?”
“I can hardly understand what you just said…”
Sebastian leaned in. “The Bog-Brush just said that the Author likes the Universal Number 42 from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe, of which the Author has never read, but enjoys the joke… That and the Universal Barcode used for product marking has 42 bars…”
[SEB! Enough of being the Vulcrumb! Just drive the fraggin’ ship!]
Sebastian nods. “Silv? After the show we need to entertain Mino for a while… Back to the line… Set a course to the fleet at Worf 42…”
Silvermane shook his head. “We should go after Zero, Speck. He knows how to throw a curve ball that will hit a wicket if we don’t peg him, and he’s got Captain Puke… Okay, maybe that’s not a good incentive to go after him. Why the fleet?”
“There is safety in numbers…”
“Like that helped the other eleven starschleps that came here first…” Taj mumbled, and he received a brain duster.
“I say Earth.”
“Fleet,” Seb replied.
“Earth,” Silvermane said.
“Fleet,” Seb repeated.
“Earth,” Silvermane repeated, and raspberried Seb.
“Security!”
The door opened and Zhion, Starcatcher and Dancer appeared. Dancer was patting his fist into the palm of the other hand.
“Hi, Cupcake Boy,” Dancer chuckled.
Silvermane rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Ohhhhh. I hate paybacks…”
After the dust cleared, Silvermane was gift-wrapped in a fire hose, and packed off stage.
“CUT!” Domino yelled. CG will show Silv getting blown off in a lifepod into the freezer room of the delicatessen here at Studio 51 that will sub as the planet Deli Eggplant…”
“Deli Eggplant?” Mentor asked.
“Do you want to ask that of the Author, Mentor? You can join Silv…”
“No, uh, no, that’s a great name for a planet that makes Antarctica look like fun day at the beach…”
Scene: The Planet Deli Eggplant… aka the Freezer of Studio 51’s Delicatessen…
Silvermane is sitting next to a packing crate that is decorated by Sharpie© markers to make it somewhat resemble a lifepod from the Jellicle. He is drumming his fingers on his knee.
“Tell me again what Trinity is doing offstage with the GI Joe© action figure and a sock puppet, Mimi…”
“The script has you going across-country and these monsters try to eat you. Since the Freezer doesn’t have that amount of space for you to do that, she’s going to act out the scene. Go on, Trin…”
Silvermane winces. “That looks like it hurts… Ouch! That’ll leave a mark for sure… Aw come on! I don’t lose a hand in this pic, and Swampstomper is Pounce’s character anyhoo!”
“Do that one over, Trin, hun…”
Silvermane rubs his face. “Trin? I don’t get eaten either… Mimi? Can we go to where I meet Quaxo?”
“Trin? The monster dies… (~thud~) Good girl… Go, Silv…”
Quaxo comes on dressed in a blanket that resembles a parka. “Perhaps you should have allowed the snow monster to have eaten you, Silvermane. That way, we would have had to come up with another film plot…”
“I thought about that, but the Author might get PO’ed and put us in another Greenroom. Let me get this one straight, Quaxo. You’re supposed to be Seb’s Speck guy from about a hundred years in the future?”
“That is affirmative.”
“And you talk this way throughout the film.”
“This is also affirmative. I am… Vulcrumb…” His ears twitch in Vulcrumb humor.
[Guys! I will come out there and hurt the next one who does another Shatner bit!]
Silvermane and Quaxo look at each other. “Silvermane? You better tell William that his cameo appearance has been scrapped.”
“But, Quaxo! That was going to the high point of the film…”
“You want to explain that to the Lady Domino?”
“That wouldn’t be high on my list, no… So now what?”
“We get on this revolving scene treadmill and hike to the Starchfleet Home for Wayward Engineers… I cannot believe I spoke that line…”
“It wasn’t that great a yuckker, either, Quaxo… Now what?”
A Russian accent warbled through the speakers. “Sixty-nine bottles of Watka on the wall, sixty-nine bottles up there…”
“Sounds like Archie didn’t have much to do since the first shooting day,” Silvermane said, opening up the stage door to the installation set. Archangel has just completed his bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, and tossed it expertly in the dustbin where it clanked and shattered with the remnants of the first thirty-one bottles… He took down another bottle and popped the top.
“Sixty-eight bottles of Watka on the wall, sixty-eight bottles up there…”
“Hey, Archie!”
“You take one down… Oh, it’s Silv and Quaxie… What here are you doing?”
Quaxo turned a disbelieving gaze on Silvermane. “THIS is supposed to be the future Chief Engineer of the Jellicle?”
“We already went through the Author’s reasoning behind Archie being Snotty.”
“I am certain Skimbleshanks will be pleased to know about his beginnings.”
“What mean this 'future’ Chief Engineer of Jellicle?” Archangel asked.
“For the sake of clarity and to shorten this scene,” Quaxo said, rubbing his temple and trying to stave off the migraine, “I will tell you the future…”
“Oh, goodie,” Archie said, applauding.
“Silvermane? Is this member of your Tribe a male version of our Cettie?”
“He’s been known to be a few rooms short of a hotel,” the silver Tabby nodded.
“One upon a time, there was a ship named the Jellicle…”
“Ah! This is story of Gilligan, the Skipper and those guys?”
Quaxo took a deep breath and let it out, a move that made many of the female members of the crew and cast faint or go, 'Guhhhh!’. “We will apologize in the credits later… This ship was captained by James T. Kook, whose true identity will not be itemized here… The present commander of the ship will become his First Officer, and…”
Archie immediately joined in. “…And the professor and Marvey Sam…”
The song ended with a brain duster administered by Quaxo. Silvermane shook his head. “Uh, he’s out cold, Big Guy…”
“Then we shall be fortunate as you 'beam’ us back to the Jellicle set. We shall have Lady Domino edit this scene with a CG… 'Snotty’ to complete the dialogue. I still cannot believe…”
“I would try a brain duster on you, but I’d probably just hurt my hand.”
“That would be logical…”
“CUT!” Domino said, massaging her forehead. “Seb? How are you doing it?”
“Doing what, Mino?”
“Speaking Rumblese.”
Silvermane snorted. “Easy, Mimi. Mentor has practiced ventriloquism, and is speaking in place of Seb.”
“Wanna watch me drink water and speak at the same time?” Seb said.
Once more, Domino went back to massaging her forehead. “Just go on with the scene.”
“Okay…” Seb said from the command chair -- still not sitting in it. He turns as Silvermane comes in, carrying Archie. He sits the Turkish Van down where 'Snotty’ usually sits on the bridge and then looks at the screen. A Roadrunner cartoon was being shown. “I believe you are supposed to be on vacation…”
“Change of plans,” Silvermane said. “The Jellicle needs to head for Earth right now.”
“And I said we are joining the Fleet,” Seb replied.
“Earth…” Silvermane growled.
“Fleet!” Seb snorted.
“Earth!” Silvermane grunted.
“Fleet!” Seb yawned.
“Fleet!” Silvermane said glibly.
“EARTH and that is final!!!” Sebastian huffed, and then massaged the bridge of his nose. Sitting down and ignoring the BLAT of the custom made 'Seat Whoopee© Cushion’ he shook his head. “Why do I feel like I should say, 'Shoot me now’…?”
“Classic misdirection joke, Seb… You just became Daffy…”
“Yes… This time, we shall make the decision of who commands and who is the First Officer,” Seb replied.
“You mean…?”
“Yes…”
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Speck…”
In three out of five contests, Silvermane finally beats Seb by using the Lizard biting the Vulcrumb. Seb nods and stands, gesturing to the chair. Silvermane grins and sits…
Hitting 100 decibels easily, the chair erupts with the classic vulgar sound…
[Silv? Enough with the Whoopee Cushion© bits!]
Presley and Taj fan the air. “Domi-Lady!? That sound was all Mane-Boy…!”
Silvermane thumps his chest the allotted three times. “Must’ve been the Tuna Surprise.”
“The surprise gets him every time,” Seb furnishes from the Science Station.
“He needs BEANOs, then,” Nicole said, adjusting her Bluetooth in her ear and playing with the cleavage of her uniform.
“Okay, Kook is in the chair now… What we need now is a foolproof way to sneak up on old Zero.”
“I say we do an end run,” Presley said, gesturing with his hands how it is done. “We fly to the others side of the sun, pop over the top, and coming screamin’ down outta the sun with all guns and torpedoes blazing!!!”
Mentor reaching into his hip pocket and produces a flask, which he samples heavily.
Silvermane, however, nods. “I like it. Seb, er, Commander Speck?”
“We warp into the atmosphere of the moon Titan, and shoot him when he is not looking.”
“Now that’s sneaky and low. Trust a Vulcrumb to come up with it. Speck? We just got this ship out of the dock. Won’t that get it dirty?”
“Not to mention clog the intake valves,” Archangel added.
[Guys…!]
“I hate it when she uses that tone of voice. It’s like she dings you one without being anywhere near you… Lemme see… Lines… Uh, do what Seb, er, Commander Speck said.”
“And CUT! We do the model drifting into what looks like a smoggy day in Liverpool…”
“Mino? Won’t the people in that fair city dislike that inference?”
“Seb? This is a parody and we’re English. At least the last time I checked my Passport. Silv? Do your thing.”
Scene: Inside the Ramblelong Mining Ship, the Harharhar
[Shimmer effect is over, and… ACTION!]
Silvermane and Sebastian supposedly had beamed aboard and were in the Ramblelong’s Wreck Wroom… namely the Piccadilly Bus…
“Wroom?” Seb asked when they looked around.
“Sight gag,” Silvermane pointed at the script page they were on. “How they expect the moviegoers to get that is beyond me…”
“Directional Subtitles,” Seb said, pointing at the bottom of the screen.
“Cool… Okay, lemme see… Ah. You go get that funny looking little ship with the Bread Matter in it, and I get to find Captain Puke… Wonderful… I see they still have the Chim-panzies writing this gig.”
“Silv? That’s Chimpanzees.”
“You’ve never seen them during breaks, have you? They’re doing Tugger slash fictions.”
“I did not need that information, Silv… Go find Puke.”
As Sebastian went one direction, Silvermane snorted. “Around this set, it’s hard not to step in it… Let me see… Seb goes one way, I go this way and Cosmos nearly hits me with a water balloon… three, two, one…”
SPLAT!
Silvermane stands perfectly still while a series of water balloons hit everything around him… SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! The silver Tabby nods. “Ten… Throw one back…”
SPLAT! “Aaaaiiiieeee!” and Cosmos is knocked back, soaking wet.
“Being a Wizard has some compensations, I guess… Instant water balloons… I love this gig. Okay… Find good ol’ Captain Pukie. Here, Pukie, Pukie, Pukie.”
“Over here, Silv.”
Silvermane pulls back a curtain and finds Victor still hanging suspended from the ceiling. “Hi, Vic. I see Mimi still has you hanging around.”
“Yes, and being dead doesn’t repeal the law of gravity here.”
“Lemme guess, the old Water-Board Joke?”
“Got it in one, Silv, now GET ME DOWN!”
“Temper, temper, Vic. You’ll blow a blood vessel that way.”
“And what? Die?”
“Or un-die… That would make you Un-un-dead…”
[GUYS!]
“You and Domi haven’t been together for a while, have you?” Vic commented.
“Not since the last Heathrow Chapter…” Silvermane said as he finally disconnects Victor from the ceiling.
“Okay, how do we get outta here?”
“As soon as Seb grabs his old ship and blows away the drill which is now over San Fried-eggroll…”
“San Francisco…”
“Must be Oakland fans, then. Old Khan is blasting Candlestick Park.”
“Speck to Kook…”
“About time, Seb, er, Speck. I got Captain Puke. Whatta you got?”
“You know those shiny pinwheels you can get at a faire?”
“Yeah?”
“This starschlep has one as its propulsion unit. And it flies like the Navigation Computer is on Catnip.”
“In that case, I’ll wait for the Jellicle to come and pick us up.”
“Here I come to save the daaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!” Presley’s voice blared from the speakers.
“Gimme that! (Whack!)”
“OW! What’s Ginnie doing on the set?”
“Making sure Archie says his lines. Do it, stupid!”
“How can I stupid do?”
“Just. Say. The. Lines!”
“~ahem~ This is UCS Jellicle calling Wannabe Captain Kookie… How that?”
“Just wonderful… Oscar Meyer potential…”
Silvermane pulls out his iPhone. “Kook here. I’d like to order two Pepperoni and one Hawaiian Pizzas to go…”
“Very funny, Silv,” Nicole answered.
“Where’d Snotty go?”
“We told him that his Vodka collection was in danger. You got Puke, right, 'Kookie’?”
“You looking for a spanking, Nicci?”
“Promises, promises…”
“Yes, I have the Captain, and both of us are about to perform his name. What’s the situation out there?”
“I’d say it ranks right up there with the Cornyachoo Murray scenario.”
“That good, eh?”
“You know? The screen here shows Seb flying some little moth-like ship right at the Harharhar. Is that right?”
“More than likely, it IS a moth flying at the model. If it is, make sure that Seb is shown getting off the ship before Trin swats it with a tennis racket.”
[Switch over to Seb’s ship while Silv gets on the Jellicle Bridge set.]
“Commander Speck to UCS Jellicle. GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!”
Silvermane comes out of the trubolift after fighting with the doors. After winning two of three, he manages to get to his chair, and sits. Everyone around the set cringes, but nothing goes off. Silvermane then bangs his fist on the arm of his chair and it breaks off.
“Ooops.”
“Commander Speck to UCS Jellicle. I repeat my last transmission… GET ME THE @#$%&?!! OUTTA HERE!!!”
“Keep your pants on, Speck.”
“I have to. If I lose them, most of the Queens over here, and Sunny especially, will jump me. Who specified that the guys on this show wear biker shorts?”
“HEY!” Presley complained. “Why didn’t I get that memo?”
“Depends on who Wardrobe was.”
Nicole crossed her legs, drawing the stares of every male on the set. “I think Spangle was given that duty… Fawn approved the drawings and Domi told them to go ahead…”
“Figures…” Silvermane said, massaging his forehead. “Hail the Harharhar, and somebody beam Speck on board before his ship crashes into it.”
“HHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!”
“Seb, hang on,” Nicole said into her Bluetooth. “Kook, baby? Khan, er, Zero is on the horn, ringing you up.”
Khan’s face once more appeared on the flat screen. “Am I dead yet?”
“Not quite,” Silvermane replied. “Close… Last chance to be pulled off your doomed ship so we can send you to prison for five hundred years.”
“Mahvelous… I escape death only to be incarcerated for well past the Ramblelong lifespan. Give it your best shot. Zero out…”
The TV screen went back to a Scoobie Doo cartoon.
Presley tried to look studious for his part… (NOTE: remember how ditzy Checkov was in the movie?) “Sir? Commander Speck is on board… yuk, yuk, yuk…”
“Screen on,” Silvermane ordered.
“Can we leave it on the cartoon for a moment longer?” Taj asked. “I never got to see the ending before.”
Silvermane rubbed a throbbing temple. “How else do these shows end? They uncover that some bad guy is playing the spook, they figure out how to trap them, and he’s thrown into prison with Khanie’s character… ah, he’s thrown into jail… No 'Get Outta Jail’ card allowed.”
CG Scene: Supposedly Deep Space
A highly detailed and very expensive model of the Harharhar is shown against a fiber optics starfield. The moth that represents Speck’s ship is shown fluttering around the front end of the model. A highly trained technician (Pande) flicks the switch that turns on the lightbulb inside the model, and the moth enters the model’s mouth… A bright yellow machine is brought in with the stenciled words: 'Deus Ex Machina Unit #42’ on the body. There a large spout on one end and a smaller one on the other pointed at a dustbin. Faust and Robin maneuvers the Unit and the back end of the model goes into the front spout. Something grabs the model, and yanks it bodily into the central part of the unit. There is a horrible mechanical gnashing, splintering, rending, cracking, grinding noise and tiny pieces fly out of the small end and into the dustbin. Faust and Robin turn off the machine and wheel it back offstage…
Domino shakes her head. “We spent six days, thousands of toothpicks, Leggo blocks, Elmer’s Glue, tiny hobby lights, coils of fiber optics line, and work to create that model, and it’s destroyed in three seconds. Keep going, gang…”
Scene: The Bridge of UCS Jellicle
The original STAR WRECK theme song is played by the Heathrow Some-Phony Orchestra and sung by the Heathrow Runway Anglican Choir. The lyrics that are completely destroyed below were by the Godfather of Star Trek: Gene Roddenberry.
Sorry about that, Gene…
